I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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