i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Randomize
