you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
