It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
