he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
