The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
