Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815) Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off? (1-815) You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it. http://tfl.nu/du1d
  Replies (16) Good night (1358) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  The one in Montpelier?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv
  Replies (53) Good night (418) Bad night (2162)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j
  Replies (16) Good night (3793) Bad night (3891) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar http://tfl.nu/qitj
  Replies (5) Good night (4479) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5
  Replies (67) Good night (8364) Bad night (1882) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think i scared a bird with my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i think i scared a bird with my dick http://tfl.nu/1tdx
  Replies (20) Good night (4473) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining. http://tfl.nu/o92e
  Replies (6) Good night (4066) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/b6xp
  Replies (6) Good night (2113) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise. http://tfl.nu/o61x
  Replies (32) Good night (5335) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/tw8x
  Replies (7) Good night (2068) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight? http://tfl.nu/ex8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up http://tfl.nu/2k98
  Replies (8) Good night (358) Bad night (1870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win. http://tfl.nu/9m9y
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian. http://tfl.nu/4ukn
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt

Randomize