I'm sorry my penis didn't work
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
