in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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