It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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