let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
