Can Purell be used as lube?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize