3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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