kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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