god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize