Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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