i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Even my vagina gasped.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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