every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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