it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
