"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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