Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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