Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
