We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize