If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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