Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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