Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
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But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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