this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
