Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize