well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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