just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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