I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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