yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
