its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
