And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
