Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
