He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The beer is more important than you right now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?