She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.