used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe