cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.