Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sext me about skeletons
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?