She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize