they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
