Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
