I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
