I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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