I just threw up on my dentist
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
