I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
