what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
