Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
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Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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