im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
