I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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