Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
