btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
