Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pappa wants mamma naked
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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