but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
