We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
