Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
