when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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