My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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