the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
