An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize