Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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