She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize