no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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