what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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