my sisters under your porch take her home
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
