OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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