i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
