I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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