is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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