Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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